On A Lighter Note

I saw the headline for this story and literally did a double take. Of course I had to click on it to make sure that the title "Woman stuffs bra with stolen parrot" was not some tricky wording to get you to read it, which it would have worked obviously. So I start to read this story and realize no, there is no tricky wording. The woman actually stole an expensive parrot form the pet store she works in and stuffed it in her bra!!

Okay two questions come to mind, well more then two but lets address two here for times sake. First off, how do you get the idea of stealing a parrot and what genius would then get the idea to stick it in your bra? Wouldn't that hurt? And how about the parrot-sized lump in your shirt? Did you not think that would be noticed?? Did the Florida sun scramble your brain and does your next plan involve stealing an elephant and hiding it your pants?

Now here is the scary part. The woman actually made it out of the store unnoticed and tried to trade the parrot for a vintage car but with a twist only seen in movies the owner of the car was friends with the parrots rightful owner! Eureka! Eventually the woman was charged with grand theft after the did a dna test, yes that is right a dna test, on the parrot to prove who was the rightful owner.

Okay this leads me to my second question. First off, I am a woman and I have to say speaking for myself and all the woman I know who range in sizes no one has room in their bra for a parrot and no one can imagine having something like that go unnoticed. Wouldn't it move around, possibly even squawks??? Anyways so my last question is how damn big was that woman's chest that not only could she shove a parrot in her bra but said parrot would go unnoticed?!?!?!